Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Uncertainity





Have you ever had the feeling of uncertainty? Like you wanted to do something but you just cant decide whether to just go for it or let it pass.

Well, that’s what Im having since 11th February until two hours ago. To start with I am a AIESEC ( what is AIESEC? click here for more info  https://www.aiesec.org/ ) member, and I am very enthusiastic about it since the day I first joined AIESEC in UM. During the semester break ,I had the chance to participate in one of the annual conference which was Malaysia Leadership Development Seminar or better known MyLDS. It was joined by AIESEC members from other Local Community ( LC ) which consist of both national and international. Total delegates ? 600 delegates. During the six days event, I have learned a lot in terms of having better understanding on the structure of AIESEC and the main ideas of what AIESEC is all about.

Sorry to bore you on the details about AIESEC, lets get back to the main topic okay?

Okay so what happened on 11th February was that the announcement of Executive Board ( EB )  of AIESEC LCUM.I was ecstatic ,being all excited about applying and eager to fill in my application form. Few days after downloading the application package, the results for semester one is announced. After a few technical problems and difficulties, I finally got my results and sadly it wasn’t what I have expected.

So I did some analysis of what I have been doing in the past semester, ’’ have I been playing around a lot? Did I got too involved in other activities to the point that I  neglected my studies? “ . The question just go around my head for a few days and during that time I was thinking of dropping everything I am involved in and just focus on my studies. But me being me, I cannot be ‘ not busy,too free ‘ or else I ‘d die. Naah just kidding but you get my point?

So yeah after a few discussions with few people I choose to stay.

So back to my dilemma, I suddenly got cold feet of applying for the post. It was so sudden like suddenly I am questioning myself whether can I handle it , will I break halfway  and other lots of the ‘what if’s ‘ questions. But despite the uncertainty , I went to the EB’s experience sharing session which was tonight. After going through four sharing session with the EB’s and the LCP, Allen himself I still cannot make up my mind just yet.

But it was at the mamak later that night, after the sharing session where I came out with a thought. I was with most of the LC team, having our supper at a mamak. While everyone else was talking to each other, shouting to one another across the table and some was in deep conversation either continuing their sharing or just personal sharing and I had a moment to myself for some time.  

I thought ‘ these are the people who had the same uncertainty feeling when they first joined AIESEC/applied for the TLP but they went for it. ‘

 It sort of reminds me of a talk by Jiong Kit, one of the Chair for MyLDS where he said,

‘ instead of asking why, ask yourself why not ‘

And then there’s the advice from Joon, an alumnus of AIESEC UM who told me,

‘ you will never be ready for anything, because if you do there’s no point of applying. You just have to go for it and challenge yourself ‘

So I guess, in life we cannot just sit and wait for opportunities to come. Sometimes we have to get up and chased it and then only will we know what the experience feels like. My sharing may be in the scope of my own AIESEC experience but it also applies to everything else in life.

Why wait? Why hesitate? Grab every opportunities you can get and the results afterwards can be pretty amazing. Surprise yourself of your own abilities cause you will never know what your strength and weakness really until you give yourself a challenge.

‘’ never regret,
If its good, its wonderful,
If its bad, its experience . ‘’
-Victoria Holt-


And guess what was the first thing I did when I reached my room tonight, I open the application form and put a tick on two boxes ; position applied and field of interest. That’s my first step. 

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